restraining

even as i very much want to sms you, im so afraid of your replies. so afraid of looking like i cant live without you. i can live without you. but i choose to want you inside my life. thats the part that sucks bad for me. im restraining myself. my fingers need to type to you. i guess one thing good about blogs is that i can type non stop till im sick of typing but yet it just doesnt seem to make the cut.

im feeling so jaded tonight. my mind's going crazy. my thought are running wild. my heart feels empty and shattered. my eyes are sleepy. i just wish to hear your voice. i just wish to see smses from you having Baby.... Baby something. and know that im someone important to you, someone you love, someone you want a relationship with.

i know that feeling. this feeling feels like when you left me. its like a part of me left. like im losing my right hand or something. everynight when i close my eyes, all i can think about is you. i constantly write draft emails to myself, writing our stories like that in a story book. i feel like a livin dead ): i feel terribly upset. tmr is friday. friday means - 2 weeks since the time you decided to give me up, the time you decided you didnt wanna try anymore. friday spells pain for me. i live friday every day of the week.

I FEEL LIKE SHIT. SOMEONE, SLAP ME HARD.